The Shy Guy Advantage

Date Couple

Date Couple

1. Monitor your self-talk. Keep it positive and affirming. Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to a buddy you wanted to encourage.

2. Monitor the self-talk of other guys. If it's one thing guys lie about, it's their prowess with women. Every man's in there taking his knocks just like you are.

3. Your emotions don't have to stop you in your tracks. You can be nervous and keep going. You can be worried about rejection and still take a risk. This is like a workout, building character muscle, aka tolerance for frustration.

4. Start from the inside out. What are you shy about? Make a list of all you have to offer and believe it. If there's something you need to work on, get some coaching and take care of it. Otherwise, take pride in who you are and stay centered. Not all the women will like you, but you need all the women. You just need HER.

5. Practice where it's safe. Being outgoing is something you can try with the person next to you in the grocery line. Talk to strangers. Watch outgoing people and see what specific behaviors they do - the eye contact, the tone of voice, the posture, the conversation-starters. It isn't a mystery, it's a set of skills, like a tennis serve.

6. If she asks you out first, that's fine, but you must take charge or you're going to be moved into the "just friends" category. Take over and be spontaneous. Don't ask her what she wants to do or where she wants to go. Plan something any woman would enjoy and expect her to go along. Use your gut feelings.